WOW 2-15

So, I have been way to lazy and am posting this entry really late. But, better late than never.

We spent quite a bit of time in this session discussing critical theories, especially Orientalism and Queer Theory. I could spend a lot of time giving you info about critical theories and my take on them (it's pretty rooted in post-modern and post-colonial performance theory), but I would rather discuss a question that I raised during the discussion portion of the evening.
When I was in undergrad at Albion College I took a couple of theory-heavy theatre course. Specifically, feminist theatre and postmodern theatre. In feminist theatre we, pretty obviously, discussed feminism and in postmodern theatre we discussed performance theory and race and sexuality in performance.
Now it is important for me to identify myself so that everyone will understand the perspective I carried in these classes. I have been born into most power positions. I am white, heterosexual, male, tall, athletic, and economically stable. So, when we discussed most of these marginalized groups I didn't fit. I spent a lot of time struggling with how to be an ally from my position of power.
I distinctly recall one day when I was particularly overwhelmed by the question of how I should be in alliance. The theater building and the athletic facilities at Albion are next door to each other and I had just come back from a long run with the cross-country team when I walked into the theater offices and collapsed on the floor of my professors office sobbing. She asked me what was wrong. After composing myself for a minute I said, with tears in my eyes, "I just don't know how to be an ally."
I don't recall what she said, and I don't think anyone can really define the answer to that question. It's really something that we each have to struggle with and stumble through and try to have humility, humbleness and graciousness around. However, when the conversation on Wednesday turned to radical groups and the different approaches to critical theories, I felt moved to see what this group thought about the question of allying from a power position.
My experience has been that when I try and act as an ally to radical groups I often feel like I'm being recruited by the group. That in order for me to be an ally, I almost HAVE to join the group. This is easier with some groups than others. For instance, when we studied feminism I was able to recognize the ridiculous societal demands like shaving legs and wearing high heels. Now, I didn't wear heels except one day, for class, as an experiment, but I shaved my legs for months. Granted, some men wouldn't be comfortable with that, but it was one way I could be an ally but not feel like my own identity had been violated.
I do have boundaries, though, and I have experienced situations where my boundaries have been crossed in the name of alliance. Those situations make it really hard to be an ally when we are concerned about a violation of our boundaries.
There were some thoughts around this from the group and it was suggested that we cannot define the terms of our alliance. That we have to be willing to come to the table prepared for discussion, open to listening and slow to speech. Granted, I think we should never allow ourselves to feel violated, but I also think that, sometimes, we need to recognize that all we can do is listen.
When one is in a position of power, they aren't used to their rights being limited. The idea of not being able to take action is unheard of. We assume that when there is a problem, we just have to figure out how to fix it and make it happen. We're tired, we sit in the first row of the bus. We don't feel heard, we just speak up without fear of reprisal. The police don't stop us just because we look suspicious. So, when we engage with radical, marginalized groups we aren't prepared to have our boundaries tested and to say, no, I don't feel comfortable doing that.
When we act as an ally on the group's terms, that doesn't mean we give up ourselves and do everything that they want us to do no matter how it violates our sense of identity. It means that we begin understand that these groups have been living in our world, constantly feeling like they either have to deal with the violation or not engage with society and that it really sucks to have to make that decision on a daily basis.
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Tonight was the first Wednesday Of Wonder (WOW) with First United Methodist Church (FUMC) of Boulder's Theologian in Residence, Sarah Bloesch. This series is intended to focus on "queer theology" and will last for a couple of months. Tonight's opening discussion was based around inter-faith dialogue and where to start when we engage in said dialogue.
When we go into inter-faith dialogue we have to know where we are coming from. If we don't have a solid foundation in our own theology, we don't have anything to lean on during the discussion.
One of the central aspects of the Christian faith is Jesus Christ. Jesus is also one of the major sticking points for many Christians as well as non-Christians. As Sarah put it, we have two different approaches to Jesus that are regularly discussed.
One scholarly view of Jesus is the historical Jesus. The Jesus that actually lived. We look to this historical Jesus for an example of how to live our lives. As well, we often mold this Jesus into our own image. This is only natural. We want to believe that those we look up to look, talk and act like us. As well, it can help to further our mission if the person we are basing our beliefs on shares traits with those we wish to lead.
In Sarah's example, there was a series of products produced at one time with slogans that read, "Jesus was ____". Insert your marginalized group in the blank. A Woman, Gay, Black, Homeless were all used as well as many others. While this view is helpful to one group, it is also exclusionary in the claiming of Jesus as savior of one particular group.
I would like to believe, that Jesus looks like all of us. That when we look into a pool of water for the image of Jesus, that the face we see reflected back is not only our own, but includes the likenesses of all humanity. I know that I'm not satisfied with a savior who picks and chooses who to save.

In peace and love:
Your Brother, Forrest
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